Now that's what I can a bike race!

Could you have really asked for anything more entertaining in the great wide world of professional cycling than this year's Tour De France? GAWD! It was awesome... The surprise "ban" announcement just prior to the start opened the field to unlikely competitors for the yellow jersey, the early sprints were exciting, a total long shot Oscar Pereiro takes nearly 30 minutes on the yellow jersey in one strategic move strangely unanswered by the peloton, and the alps prove to be nothing but drama. The strategic favourite, and former Lance-a-like Floyd Landis, awaiting hip replacement surgury of all things, finally takes the lead on a gruelling mountain stage, only to completely crumble the very next day, losing the yellow by nearly 10 minutes. Then, of all things, he wakes up the next day and has what some people think was the single greatest day of racing ever on the tour. He charges away from the peloton on the first assent of a ridiculously tough alpine stage, and consumes 70 bottles of water over 5+ hours and 5 monster climbs to come within 30 seconds of getting the yellow back! And as luck would have it - the following stage was a long distance individual time trial and Landis reigned supreme. Crazy. I was up nearly every day sitting on the sofa, playing with Mateo, and explaining to him all of the ins and outs. I think he understood everything. Especially the part about going fast! I am still at a total loss to understand how Landis, after completely shutting down only the day before, could psychologically get himself together and just go out there and say "well, today, I will just get it back." I suppose we could all learn from that one. Vive le Tour!!!

Mainframe Entertainment and Rainmaker Set to Merge

Ah yes... The ole "fake news post." In fact, a favourite past time of mine. Alas, I can't take credit for this barrel of laughs. Although I never reveal my sources, I will say that yes, "the author" has lived in Germany, owned a Ford Explorer, and married a baker. As dreadful a reality as that may seem. And now, the hilarity!

Vancouver Sun Thursday July 20, 2006

Mainframe Entertainment and Rainmaker Set to Merge

Two of Vancouver's film and television studios are set to merge in a move by Rainmaker to consolidate the previous competitors. It is yet unclear what the new entity will be named. Top analysts believe the most likely possibilities to be, Mainmaker, Rainframe, Lamemaker, Moonraker and Jalopy Puddlebum's World of Computery Tricks.

When asked what spurred on the upcoming merger the new CEO of Rainmaker Warren Franklin commented, "We have been growing exponentially in the last couple of years and we really need somewhere to store our bikes and a couple more washrooms. We see the Mainframe facility as an opportunity to fulfill both."

The Mainframe team greets the coming days with excitement and optimism. Rick Mishel, CEO stated on Wednesday in his weekly PodCast, "Hey Buddy! Hey! Where's Johnny Darrell? Johnnyyyyyy! Hey man! He's crazy! Hey Buddy!"

A letter written by Mishel to Franklin also stated, "Hey Buddy! I hope we can manage to keep the Mainframe stock floundering in the lower twenty cent range. Do you know Johnny Darrell? He's crazy! Johnnyyyyyyy! Later Buddy!"

Franklin's only response was, "My god. What have I done?" before pulling a gun out of his bureau drawer and shooting himself in the stomach. The funeral will be held on Sunday at 10:00am at the Sands Funeral Parlor, 3423 Fraser St.

Click here for the real thing.

The Lord of Song...

Ever since I realised I didn't know more than the first verse to "Twinkle Light Star" I have been thinking about how parents sing all these little songs to their kids without ever really stopping to think about it... So I am going to try something a little different. I am going to sing (if you could call my warbling "singing") to Mateo songs of my favourite Canadian song writers! What better way to introduce the little big dude to our culture!? I was humming a Neil Young song yesterday when I recalled this amazing version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" sung by Jeff Buckley... And I thought why not start with this one! After all Mr. Cohen is my "all time favourite Canadian." One look at this guy and read of his lyrics... Man, amazing.



Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Bucket

Who in their right mind posts this photo of themselves on the Internet!? Bucket - who the hell do you think you are? Bob and/or Doug MacKenzie? How's it goin' eh? 'Av a few too many Foster's of late? Awe whatever... We're all just jealous that the Bucket is chillaxin' on a surf board in the southern hemisphere aren't we? Well, I for one... That damned Bucket!

Mark Norrie: Third Greatest Human

Due to a recent shipment amounting to 3 kilograms of Groundwork's micro-roasted coffee (Venice Beach, CA) accompanied by 2 extraordinary Cuban cigars and a posh lighter, Mark Norrie, formerly of Los Angeles has been promoted to Third Greatest Human in The Walshman global rankings. It goes without saying that Mr. Norrie has strategically positioned himself well to pull off such an endevour. Speaking from his Sydney, Austrailia penthouse suite Mr. Norrie reflected on the recent move. "The Walshman has always been good to me. I am simply the yin to his yang." It will take some doing to topple him from his new roost. Debate still rages over the subject of the cigars, however, and The Walshman has not yet determined how to best make use of them. Current thinking is to employ the services of EBAY. "Cigars courtesy of the Third Greatest Human."

Vive Le Tour

Ah yes... It is that time of year again when we thank the cycling Gods for gifting whomever at OLN with the clairvoyance to give us such amazing "breakfast coverage" of the greatest race on earth, and the most difficult individual event to won in the world.

VIVE LE TOUR!

With all the hooplah surrounding this year's race (the official retirement of Lance Armstrong, the suspension of nine riders including the #1 and #2 contenders Basso and Ullrich, etc.) it is gonna be a wild ride! Stay tuned!

Celebrate With Socks!

Come on people, get your socks on and give it up for the most beautifully confused country in the world! And remember, real Canadians kiss on the lips!

My First Father's Day!

This picture says it all really, doesn't it!

Casa Walsho Springs a Leak!

Somehow, I probably deserved this... Not sure why, but I probably did. We took possession of our lovely new townhouse last night. First order of business was to install full shelving in the closet of our bedroom. It has a small walk-in closet which we really need to take advantage of... Due to the small space we have. At the back of the closet the original builder installed one, yes people... Just one measly shelf. Kinda pointless right? Uh, yeah. So, after measuring out all the studs I decided that before I headed to the store to get the shelving I would just take that one shelf outta there because it was not going to work for us anyway. Little did I know what awaited me when I did that! As I turned the very first screw our of the wall, I heard a strange hissing noise. As I continued to turn the screw out, it got louder and louder... What is that? I thought... What in egad's name have they screwed through on the other side of the wall? And then fizz-whooosh! Water starts spraying out of my wall! You can imagine my stunned response as I feverishly wound the screw back in as tight as it would go and then went running around the apartment shutting off water valves not knowing if I was having any effect or not.

Here is a picture of what it looked like when I finally got the water stopped. Luckily I was quick enough to just figure that if I got that screw back into whatever it came out of I would be fine. As it turns out that's what saved the day! They had drilled that mounting screw right into the sprinkler supply which is on a completely different water system than the household water. So, even though I turned off the household water, it wouldn't have stopped the gushing had I not got that screw back into the pipe, and it would have been minutes not seconds that the water was rushing down inside my walls and would have most certainly cause a ton of damage. I would have had to call 911 or something to get the sprinkler system shut off!

So much for "not having to do anything" as a result of moving into a new place! Someone told me that "you have to live through one of these incidents to develop empathy for your home." As I fill and sand all the wholes the idiot who mounted the shelf improperly created I tell myself "I am learning to love my home..."

"If Image Engine was a woman..."

Click here to read a Vancouver Sun article about the 'up and coming' Vancouver visual effects community. Could it be... At long last... That Vangroovey is finally making the 'AAA' map? Nawh! Come now... don't be ridiculous!

C.R.A.Z.Y.

Vive le Quebec Libre!!! If you have that moment sometime soon as I know you will... When you ponder endlessly the lack of great Quebecois films you've seen lately... Uh, yeah... Well fret no longer! For the great Monsieur Jean-Marc Vallée has given us this masterpiece of film. C.R.A.Z.Y. is an endearing story of growing up in Canada's much maligned Belle Provence during the 1960's and 70's and oh, let's not forget...Beingg gay. Small detail really as it only provides the context for what are some tremendous and personal performances by the entire cast. What I love about this film is that it feels delightfully Canadian without actually trying to be Canadian. It has such rich, authentic and well chosen details the sum total of which create a beautiful fabric that is immensely watchable. Allez-vous!

Version Up! Walshman V|6.2.1 Now Available

Release Notes: this version incorporates cutting-edge strategic planning initiatives and complex dependancy arrangements as well as extensive multiple outcome contingencies. Negotiated resolution, robust hierarchical implementation and aggressive stop-gap asset management techniques are also encorporated. Spring mango a non-negotiable parameter.

Walshman Versus Portman

So... The Walshman faced-off against the power that is known as "The Portman" recently during an a trip east to The New York of Canada (yes, I mean Toronto...) for some on-set visual effects supervision duties on this film. Always an interesting thing "meeting a star." First, there's the meeting, which invariably you are much more uncomfortable with than they are, isn't really a meeting at all. In this case, I was staring down at a crossword puzzle folded on a chair (yes, the secret is out... on-set work is often that boring!) when a voice said "if you can do any better than me, go right ahead." No, in fact I could not add anything to Ms. Portman's efforts in this regard, and so I informed Ms. Natalie of this fact and then promptly resumed "minding my own damned business." It is an odd circumstance indeed to see a large group of people in a condensed area all trying desperately "not to bother someone." Yet, it somehow all functions like a greased wheel. The director ponders the scene largely from a secure location via a monitor, the assistant director bellows orders, the cinematographer instructs the grip, the grip issues the communication to the crew, etc. Like a modern fiefdom. Nothing new I suppose, but it did prohibit the ultimate showdown from going down.

Spring In Vangroovey

Ah yes, here we are in that most momentous of occasions on this fair coast: spring! Heralded for certain by the arrival of the Japanese Ornamental Cherry blossoms you see in this photo taken mere footsteps from the doors of Image Engine and in fact, on my bike route to work. Quite spectacular for sure. In the often sunny, often wet, Vancouver months of April and May the city seems to be at its most colour-saturated and perhaps most beautiful. The evenings may not match the warmth and lingering light of July and August, but the mornings are nearly always stellar with the end of winter on the North Shore Mountains picking up the light of the sun like painted high-lights on a stage set.

My buddy James and I had a conversation one time while enjoying a late "summer" day in Los Angeles about how when spring arrives in Vancouver it comes with a "pow!" And really lifts people spirits. Very true, you can just see it in the way people hold themselves, though sometimes I wonder if that's just because of the rains of winter have subsided. Contrast does people a lot of psychological good I think. It is the great characteristic of some places that they do not allow people to become complacent. I think that the weather in Vancouver is one of these forces. Just when you begin to take the long "Indian Summer" for granted the cold north winds of November arrive, and just when January and February's oppressive begins to eat your soul you are magically lifted by the brilliance of "la primavera." Salud!

Walshman Digs In Deep!

At the suggestion of Vancouver real estate mogul Mike "Coach" Pearce, I decided to check out a town house development on the off chance that I might amidst the insanity known only as "the Vancouver real estate market" be able to afford to own reasonable housing. The next thing I know I am locked in a bidding war with lesbian parents of a new born. Is that possible? In East Vancouver it is! And that's why I love it! To make a long story short a strange set of circumstances lead to Meg and I deciding to place an offer on a 1200 square foot town house just off of Commercial Drive in East Vancouver. The first thing was that while shopping at the best independant grocer in Vancouver, Famous Foods on Kingsway and King Edward, I received a call from Coach Pearce encouraging me to check out a housing development just around the corner called "The Brix." As I made my way over there I ran into Victor and Julia from our birthing seminar, who as luck would have it live in the development! Not to mention that "Ms. Griffin" Meg's teaching partner Heather from Stratford Hall School also lives in the building. "Fate! It must be fate!" I told myself. Intelligent folks you know all chosing the same development? Must be... So we took a look with the assistance of Lynne Dequanne, Meg's aunt who is a dynamite real estate agent and loved the place except for... dum, dum, dum... for the small living room! After much humming and hawing we decided to elicit the help of Coach Pearce and his lovely wife Christine who came to "review the property" and who were very enthusiastic and gave up the proverbial "thumbs up!" So we went ahead with an offer and a day later we're home owners!

Having lived not far from this location for a number of years in the past, I knew I would love it. It is a true "up and coming" area of the city. But, what I didn't truly realise was just how much was going on in the area and the pace of development. Things are really ripping along in East Vancouver these days. Within eye-sight of our new home there are four other townhome developments in the works. It is crazy out there! I am really looking forward to seeing Mateo ripping about John Hendry Park (Trout Lake) and having Commercial Drive's diverse community within walking distance from my front door!

My Lovely Birthday Card!

Thanks so much to my sweet Meg and little gaffer Mateo for putting the time and effort in to create this beautiful birthday card. It is really beginning to feel "right" to be called "Papa!"

Walshman Gets Buddha!

I thought it might be a good idea to get myself my own little Buddha. What with all that spiritual turmoil lying about the place. Besides, they're all the rage these days. I strongly suggest you get one for yourself! Ah... The calmness and serenity.

GKR Coming To Town

Click here to read an article about San Francisco based Giant Killer Robots visual effects firm who have made the decision to open a satelite studio north of the 49th paralell! Another local option!

Raising A Ramone

Hey! Ho! Let's Go! Hey! Ho! Let's Go! Looks like Mateo has had a little too much Blitzkrieg Pop!

Yo! Walshman, what's the weather like?

Hmmm... Let's see. It seems to be raining. Yep, no doubt. It's raining. No, make that pouring. Coming down pretty hard actually. Cats and dogs, really, who's kidding who? Come to think of it, it was doing the same thing yesterday. In fact, it has been raining for so long now, I can't really recall when it actually started! My memory has blended the past two months into one single blue-grey, blurry, nebulous element. Where is the street? The people? I think I see something moving but I can't be sure! Is anyone out there in the abyss? Okay, calm down. I was thinking to myself "this is normal" I am just 'getting my gills back.' The Los Angelino azure is still lingering smoggily in my consciousness. But, no, time for reassessment. It is wet. It is really frickin' wet. And blowing a gale. And dark. Nocturnal, northern, damned dark, and saturated. Stinking humid. Saturated. Did I already say that? Okay. It is seriously wet out there people. Everything is one gigantic sponge wet. Robyn Hitchcock singing "the rain falls... Up from the ground!" wet. The Pacific Ocean attempting to transfer itself to dry land wet. Wrap yourself in a kilt to survive wet. Bloody Orks of Mordour arriving to the bloody gates of Helms Deep wet!

But wait! Lo! What is that glimmering golden orb on the horizon? A streak of light emanating from the beyond? Has the end finally come? Are we all to be ushered off the to the Land of Beulah? No, not yet at least. It is just the sun.

I already miss the rain...